One of my wisest friends once told me the secret to a happy relationship. We were talking about marriage, but I think it can be applied to any relationship (friendship, other family connection, and even work colleague I guess!).
In a nutshell, the idea is that many people grumble about their partners saying “I do most of the work” (whatever ‘the work’ may be, be it cooking, child care, cleaning, ironing or whatever). They think (in their heads) about all the hard work that they have done (seemingly unnoticed) whilst their partner seems to “never” (or seldom ever) do that particular chore/task etc. This inevitably leads to annoyance and frustration.
The 60/40 rule says that if you *think* you are doing your fair share (50%) of the work, then in fact you’re probably only doing 40%.
- You are forgetting all the ‘hidden’ things that your partner is doing for you, which have gone unnoticed by you!
A more accurate ‘fair’ system would be if you try to do 60% of the chores/tasks. If you think you are doing 60%, then (probably) you are in fact actually doing about 50% of the work.
- In other words, if you currently think you are doing about 60% of the chores, then it’s probably currently about fair in your household!
I find that rule very useful anyway, it keeps me sane!
Incidentally, I did a quick Google search on the 60:40 rule for marriage and I found this very interesting idea: http://www.meaningfulmarriages.com/60.html
Essentially it says that an alternative 60:40 rule is that BOTH partners should aim to actually do 60% of the work (not just think that they are doing it). By both deliberately “over achieving” for their partner’s benefit, the combined relationship benefits greatly. Smart idea.